Empty Days

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Sleepless

Of course the preceding was just before I discovered Blogrolling... I can't remember where I read something paradoxical about discovery through abuse and utter vagary. Proved true here :-0

Also I note that ascii emoticons are not part of the blogging etiquette. Maybe I should disregard this - my stuff is neither journalism, nor literary, nor a personal webpage, nor else. Not even sure what it is yet, in fact.

***

Why is it that I always escape into mindlessness when I am actually reeling with untold emotion? Too ugly to splash it out on the screen, don't know where to start. Better *muse* on things without relevance precisely because. In the same way, I used to smoke pot after stressful days at work and after about a year of this pot-induced denial, would end up in a violent breakdown or burnout or whatever such nuclear explosions are called.

The untold horror of everyday blandness remains to be told. It is an old freudian truth that when one raves at bad politics or bad writing or bad anything one is actually venting one's burden of very insignificant and perfectly inexpressible griefs. Double-talk, you see. Or triple, or quadruple talk. Can't really peek under the hood and better not even try. Let the gloss shine - the moral law and the starry sky above my head.





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