Empty Days

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Thoughts on needlessness

I wonder what it means that I could never write a diary like it's supposed to be - things i did, people i met, projects i have. When faced with a blank page I'd immediately start digging into psychology, personal misery, literature... a whole lot of barely tangible stuff.

I guess there are two basic types of private writing - self-obsessed and less self-obsessed. Actually my earliest kiddy diaries are of the second kind, I was still a wholesome person. Then everything changed. Ever since it's been nothing but introspection. Only I know just how much I hate this kind of thing. The obvious solution was to stop writing all together, which I did. To no avail, because I am back at it again... right here.

Possible deterrent - that other people might be reading and I should be ashamed of myself. Additional safeguard - writing in English which I know badly and should practice for better purposes. Also - reading other people's blogs to humble myself plus imitate various styles of speech as an exercise in role-playing. Fernando Pessoa did it all by himself and I could bet his kind of nuttiness had a great therapeutic affect. Not that I have the talent of course. Which is a good reason for not mentioning Kafka or André Gide or anything British for that matter :-0

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This was an unavoidable entry. What is particularly appealing about blogs is that nothing stays on for very long. I really took to emailing when it first kicked in for that very reason - written, sent, and gone for good!





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