Empty Days

Monday, November 03, 2003

What about hate

The art of avoiding the bad will of thy neighbour is something I have to master yet. At the same time I realize this is just part of how I am in general - not very conciliatory, a bit too direct, somewhat arrogant though definitely not in a haughty way. I can't hide my moods. When I am low the whole world is immediately informed - just from the sight of me.

I don't recognize to strangers the right to judge my ways. This is probably silly of me but then I have the option not to give a damn. They mostly think I am crazy. Perhaps they're right. The bad part of it is that there's a tendency to presume on crazy folks, can't get any respect unless you're hulky, dangerous, and outright violent. There are other crazy types in my building, they get the same treatment so I don't feel especially targeted, it's just the way things are.

Some guy punctured a tyre on my bike. He's crazy too, so I guess it was to be expected. Now, he just bought an expensive new car, he loves it so much he'd lick it all over if he had his privacy, instead he just washes and polishes it every single day. Now, I wonder how he'd feel if one day he found it all scratched and disfigured? He might go biserk, I'd say. The guy is retired so he's got nothing to lose but his fragile mental health. At such advanced age these things might prove lethal. So I guess I'll leave him in that mad world of his, without further damage. I can still take some minor damage from crazier-than-myself sorts, it's not like I am terribly affected and ready to climb the wall.

[ Amended: ...this is pure bullshit... in fact, better take it out on the offender, or shove it, there are no two ways to go about this... of course, the third much-loved way is to indulge in unrestrained bullshit... which is what i've been doing here... ]





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