Empty Days

Friday, January 30, 2004

Mad-cow effect

Did my grocery today and made a psychological observation. Some beef was on sale, really cheap, and in these cases there's never enough for everybody and when the butcher rolls his tray out people pounce on it unashamedly, pushing and shoving - and if you don't join in adroitly enough you don't get no beef as a rule. So I joined in but was cut off by an elderly guy who really went for that beef like it was some sort of a military operation. And I felt disgusted. With myself and with that old shnock.

But afterwards it occurred to me that perhaps this feeling of disgust was a wrong reaction on my part. For what was it about? A tiny tinge of humiliation from having to scramble for stuff; a bit of indignation at seeing an elderly man behave like a bum; resentment from being cut off; disgust with my own greed. But who the fuck am I to react like I am some prince of Belair in dire circumstances? Where is the humiliation when this is pretty much the only time I can afford to buy some beef and what is greedy about it? And lastly - who the fuck am I to judge this old guy?

So basically I decided that next time this happens I will have great fun laughing at myself, at the beef, and at the people scrambling for it. And I'll make some damn good stew today.





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