Empty Days

Friday, February 20, 2004



Yesterday was not the worst day of my life perhaps but it was pretty gut-wrenching and it's not over yet. A day can extend way beyond the 24 nominal hours assigned to it.

***

Let's say a human being is like a layered pastry - there are all these layers and they're all happening at the same time but you can only exist in one layer at a time. By "exist" I probably mean something like "thinking of". You can't think in multiple layers at once (multitasking got nothing to do with this).

So what happens is that you're cruising on some particular selected plane (or layer) of yours, and then suddenly there's a switch and you fall right through the mushy pastry and find yourself somewhere very different, where you can't quite "cruise" at all - it's more like "struggling in the marshmallow" then. Obviously, there are layers you don't want to go to - and you don't, not of your own volition. You fall in rather, or get dragged in.

***

I suppose "mental balance" means cruising on the same plane, always. Being a uniform, non-layered pastry. Is this realistic? Obviously it is - people scramble for it frantically and it is instinctive.





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