Empty Days

Friday, July 16, 2004



Experimental morality no. 2

From Unabomber's early journals:
About a year and a half ago, I planned to murder a scientist as a means of revenge against organized society in general and the technological establishment in particular. Unfortunately, I chickened out. I couldn't work up the nerve to do it. The experience showed me that propaganda and indoctrination have a much stronger hold on me than I realized. My plan was such that there was very little chance of my getting caught. I had no qualms before I tried to do it, and I thought I would have no difficulty. I had everything well prepared. But when I tried to take the final, irrevocable step, I found myself overwhelmed by an irrational, superstitious fear -- not a fear of anything specific, merely a vague but powerful fear of committing the act. I cannot attribute this to a rational fear of being caught. I made my preparations with extreme care, and I figured my chances of being caught were less than, say, my chances of being killed in an automobile accident within the next year. I am not in the least nervous when I get into my car. I can only attribute my fear to the constant flood of anticrime propaganda to which one is subjected ...
The man calls morality and education - propaganda and indoctrination. Jesus. He's right of course. Not many would like to be right that way though?

This is 100% similar to my own qualms regarding much lighter deeds. Before here and after here. Key to all these revulsions and psycho-trips: it was fear.





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