Empty Days

Saturday, July 03, 2004



Sex.

I wish I gave it a bit more thought than I normally do. Like I said, sex is closely associated with social life - you can't get one without the other and vice-versa. I do wish in a way that it were otherwise. Seriously. If I could have something going with another human without letting myself be nagged be the attending worldly pleasures and burdens, it'd be just the perfect thing. But in such isolation people either literally swallow each other or there is this permanent servitude to intimacy that is created. In other words, it is impossible to remain unattached while one-on-one and having nothing else to take away the burden or distract. In fact, plenty of couples live in such isolation - but what's happening inside such a couple is precisely this servitude. I prefer solitude, by far.

There is no question whatsoever that if I were of the male sex I'd readily resort to professional services by now. It would probably constitute a good incentive to make some serious cash, though I am not sure that many men are motivated enough by pure lust to undergo all the burdens of having a job and all that shit. I am not motivated, that's for sure - but then my libido is low enough, I don't run around getting hopeless erections and oggling every bod in sight. Jesus.

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