Empty Days

Sunday, July 11, 2004



Survival.

168. In the second place, one has to balance the struggle and death against the loss of freedom and dignity. To many of us, freedom and dignity are more important than a long life or avoidance of physical pain. Besides, we all have to die some time, and it may be better to die fighting for survival, or for a cause, than to live a long but empty and purposeless life.
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I agree with that - except that I have neither freedom nor dignity, so all I've got left is a long, empty, purposeless life. At least Ted was able to buy a spot of land somewhere far, with help from his family - not even a dream for me. Incidentally, it is this "help" that eventually occasioned his ruin - there is a price to pay for every compromise.

Survival? What and who for - and where?

I was thinking about maybe getting a motorcycle and riding into the sunset. But then you still need money for gas and roads to ride on.





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