Empty Days

Wednesday, July 28, 2004



Wha-wha.

I've been fabulating about going to live in the countryside. It's like this: since I really take no pleasure in city-living and hate crowds, why not find a more fitting place somewhere less populated? Especially since I care nothing about living conditions: I am ok with poverty and basics.

At the same time I am not sure one can survive in the countryside on little cash without being at the mercy of the local community - which would be a great loss of independence. I am not sure it is possible to find a place isolated enough and cheap enough to live in - by which I mean renting. The main problem would be transportation, especially in winter - no bike. Can't be independent without personal means of transportation, that should be obvious. In that sense country life is much harder and demands more means and resources than town life. Even though I know little about it, I can predict that part from what I know.

So, how do you do it if you're really destitute? I suppose if I had significant physical strength, it'd be a big plus - I'd be far more self-reliant. But I am hardly a trapper. So - what do I do?

I must say that I really don't like small rural towns - people are crowded enough in those, though the whole thing takes up less space, but all the houses are still bunched up together. That's what makes a town. And paradoxically, the smaller the town, the harder it is to escape from it - people are far more aware of each other, which is a bad thing for new-comers. Those who enjoy the real benefits of country life live far apart in isolated houses. That takes significant finances: to buy land, to build on that land with services, transportation etc. In other words, it's not something I can ever achieve of my own - forget it.

There are miraculous solutions of course - like renting a remote shack from somebody but you have to meet such a person first. I don't count on such miracles. And also: I wouldn't want to share a house with the owner. The whole point of my even thinking about countryside is maximum solitude and independence. Might be a mirage really, but I probably should investigate first by actually going out there and seeing for myself.

What do I live for? That's the real question. I need something to look forward to - green life and growing my own small garden is really a very appealing idea. Fuck: if I could avoid seeing people much of the week, I'd be in heaven. Is this at all possible??





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