Empty Days

Tuesday, September 07, 2004



Humans.

I've been talking a lot on icq these days. And for some mysterious reason I was able to make pretty warm and meaningful contact - even tried one with a woman but it didn't work out well. I don't know why it's so hard for me to talk with my sisters in gender - it's either me or it's them but it rarely ever works. Why is it that it's easier to find common ground with men? or is it simply because with guys there is always a slight element of flirting present (or call it "pleasing"), no matter what's the subject? On the other hand, it doesn't matter because I am incapable of making friends with people for very long in any case - most of these new contacts will vanish eventually and it will be my fault. I can't be too optimistic about this, due to past experience.

And on top of all this chatting, I took a drastic step over my usual reservations and went to visit that bicycle mechanic who straightened the front-fork on my bike for free. He was so excited to see me and so nervous, I felt a bit overwhelmed at first. Of course there was a lot of flirtatious vibe in the beginning but we immediately started talking philosophy - a bit too immediately, I would say. Then something funny occured: his current romantic interest walked in to ask him out for a beer and the three of us played a bit of high comedy. Then I left despite various polite protestations, but will go talk to him again soon - I am pretty sure we will have a better talk next time, having broken the ice already.

All these highly intensive contacts have a clear purpose for me right now - I just feel I need to let the energy run free and burst open some of the closed doors inside my mind. It's a natural consequence of my trip - it gave me a huge emotional boost and made me far more mobile than I usually am. I need to keep the engine running - otherwise the whole thing will slump again into nothingness and procrastination. Plus I really needed to avoid post-travel depression.

The ultimate result of all this will be my moving out of this apartment and hopefully the city itself - I've never done something like that, it would be a first.





/ 10/19/2003 - 10/26/2003 / / 10/26/2003 - 11/02/2003 / / 11/02/2003 - 11/09/2003 / / 11/09/2003 - 11/16/2003 / / 11/16/2003 - 11/23/2003 / / 11/23/2003 - 11/30/2003 / / 11/30/2003 - 12/07/2003 / / 12/07/2003 - 12/14/2003 / / 12/14/2003 - 12/21/2003 / / 12/21/2003 - 12/28/2003 / / 12/28/2003 - 01/04/2004 / / 01/04/2004 - 01/11/2004 / / 01/11/2004 - 01/18/2004 / / 01/18/2004 - 01/25/2004 / / 01/25/2004 - 02/01/2004 / / 02/01/2004 - 02/08/2004 / / 02/08/2004 - 02/15/2004 / / 02/15/2004 - 02/22/2004 / / 02/22/2004 - 02/29/2004 / / 02/29/2004 - 03/07/2004 / / 03/07/2004 - 03/14/2004 / / 03/14/2004 - 03/21/2004 / / 03/21/2004 - 03/28/2004 / / 03/28/2004 - 04/04/2004 / / 04/04/2004 - 04/11/2004 / / 04/11/2004 - 04/18/2004 / / 04/18/2004 - 04/25/2004 / / 04/25/2004 - 05/02/2004 / / 05/02/2004 - 05/09/2004 / / 05/09/2004 - 05/16/2004 / / 05/16/2004 - 05/23/2004 / / 05/23/2004 - 05/30/2004 / / 05/30/2004 - 06/06/2004 / / 06/06/2004 - 06/13/2004 / / 06/13/2004 - 06/20/2004 / / 06/20/2004 - 06/27/2004 / / 06/27/2004 - 07/04/2004 / / 07/04/2004 - 07/11/2004 / / 07/11/2004 - 07/18/2004 / / 07/18/2004 - 07/25/2004 / / 07/25/2004 - 08/01/2004 / / 08/01/2004 - 08/08/2004 / / 08/08/2004 - 08/15/2004 / / 08/15/2004 - 08/22/2004 / / 08/22/2004 - 08/29/2004 / / 08/29/2004 - 09/05/2004 / / 09/05/2004 - 09/12/2004 / / 09/12/2004 - 09/19/2004 / / 09/19/2004 - 09/26/2004 / / 09/26/2004 - 10/03/2004 / / 10/03/2004 - 10/10/2004 / / 10/10/2004 - 10/17/2004 / / 10/17/2004 - 10/24/2004 / / 10/24/2004 - 10/31/2004 / / 10/31/2004 - 11/07/2004 / / 02/20/2005 - 02/27/2005 / / 02/27/2005 - 03/06/2005 / / 03/13/2005 - 03/20/2005 / / 03/20/2005 - 03/27/2005 / / 03/27/2005 - 04/03/2005 / / 04/03/2005 - 04/10/2005 / / 04/10/2005 - 04/17/2005 / / 04/17/2005 - 04/24/2005 / / 04/24/2005 - 05/01/2005 / / 05/01/2005 - 05/08/2005 / / 05/08/2005 - 05/15/2005 / / 05/15/2005 - 05/22/2005 / / 05/22/2005 - 05/29/2005 / / 05/29/2005 - 06/05/2005 / / 06/05/2005 - 06/12/2005 / / 06/12/2005 - 06/19/2005 / / 07/03/2005 - 07/10/2005 / / 09/04/2005 - 09/11/2005 / / 09/11/2005 - 09/18/2005 / / 09/18/2005 - 09/25/2005 / / 09/25/2005 - 10/02/2005 / / 10/02/2005 - 10/09/2005 / / 10/16/2005 - 10/23/2005 / / 11/13/2005 - 11/20/2005 / / 11/27/2005 - 12/04/2005 /