Empty Days

Friday, September 10, 2004



Inner dialogue.

Fuck, what a limbo.

Chatting is empty, thinking is irrelevant, and action is stalled. Damn.

What are the advantages of staying put as against being on the road?
Column one: security, warmth, laying down whenever I want, no physical fatigue, predictable tomorrows, internet, no spending.
Column two: hopelessness, routine, powerlessness, city.

Now, what are advantages/disadvantages of bike touring aimlessly?
Column one: new experiences, unpredictable tomorrows, movement, openness, liberation, stamina, nature.
Column two: insecurity, much physical hardship, more spending, having to go back eventually.

Ok - which do you prefere? Please choose NOW.

I prefer being on the road.

Ok! Next - what do you need to do in the most immediate future to get back on the road as soon as you can?

I need to:
find somebody to feed my cat,
true the rear-wheel on the bike,
get a new tarp sheet,
see if i can put a krypton bulb in the headlight,
do my laundry :-0

OK! That's better. Now, how will you deal with the cat problem - what are your options?
I will call the SPCA tomorrow morning to see if they know of any volunteers who come to people's homes to feed their pets. Maybe they will be able to suggest something, if not. Otherwise, I will need to go and beg my parents on my knees :-0

Gut. And what about that rear-wheel? Will you ever get down to do it properly, hein? I should, that's right - I've been lazy and timid about it and procrastinating a lot. Ok then - do it tomorrow, please. The weather will be great so you simply have to do it already.

*

Anything you forgot? Oh yes - the driving idea is to go look up an old friend from high-school whom i haven't seen in 15 years and who sent a random postcard to my address a few years back, looking to resume contact. I didn't reply then because I was too depressed - but i feel adventurous enough now to take it up. I know her parents have a house in a small town near Quebec city - and she said she lives there now, without a telephone (that's mysterious).

So I'll go to look her up. Quebec city is about 250km away - and her town is some 60km down south-east from it. That would make for yet another lengthy trip because I'll be as slow as ever and I don't care, heh.

This trip will obviously take longer than 10 days. In fact it may take a whole month in case I develop a big taste for more of it and continue farther east all the way up to Gaspesie. Will I freeze to death up there? I sure will, heh - it will be october by then.

But what about finances, hein? You don't have nearly enough cash in your accout to last you even a week. Are you being entirely unrealistic and crazy here?
Maybe I am. But I have a secret idea in my back pocket - maybe I'll stop in some apple-orchard on the way and ask for 1-2 weeks of work. Who knows. Otherwise I'll just abuse my credit card, that's all.

I really don't care about nothing anymore - I live for the last time ever.





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