Empty Days

Friday, September 24, 2004



Scheisse.

I feel for that poor guy out there - don't know what's happening with him. People are struggling in their own hell all over the place, it's just amazing to what extent there's just no way to do anything about it. I suppose I am not the most compassionate and generous person out there, but it's kinda hard to just completely ignore what's going on - no matter how useless that feeling might be on the whole.

I have a strong sense of having literally sinned against that individual by denying him mere openness. That's all it takes - openness. It's a sort of unwitting charity without all the self-consciousness. It's always been my problem anyhow, that I can't tolerate being needed - which is basically why i have such difficulties with having people in my life. So I don't have any for any significant length of time. I guess this is just one of those things - and I can't forsee it ever changing, unless I become something else myself.





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