Empty Days

Friday, October 08, 2004



Some superstitious thinking for you.

Actually there is a pretty funny observation that I've made before and thought totally inconsequential initially - except that it kept repeating itself, as a sort of side-freak show to whatever lousy course events would take now and then.

Apparently I am not supposed to brag about my bike - because as soon as I do something bad happens to it. This definitely sounds superstitious, but since I don't believe in superstitions all these strange cause-effect observations usually come after a fact - when shit has already happened - and then I suddenly remember I've been wantonly bragging about that bike a few days previous. Wantonly in the sense that nobody asked me to brag about it - the key in this sort of "ominous" bragging is that it's unprovoked and is totally wanton and unasked-for in nature. There are other sorts of bragging - but this one is a punishable crime against "the way things are", apparently.

This strange connection first struck me when I got into my first big bike accident - I had just gotten that bike and totally loved it and was happy I got such a fast-flying bike. I was in high spirits, let's say. But then instead of just praising my newly acquired bike, I bragged about it - for no reason at all, just to express something like "hey, look at me, I am so great" kind of thing, which is what bragging is all about after all: it's not about bikes, it's about how bikes make me great or something like that. Well - a week later I got into that accident and the bike went to scrap altogether. Of course it struck me: I was feeling so good about that machine and had had it for only a few weeks and now it was suddenly gone for good, taken away, disappeared, non-existent. So it sort of went against all my bragging situation right there - and that's how I made the connection, for some reason - that it was the impetus of bragging that got into an accident, and the bike served as the object that took the very tangible hit. Yes, the bike got destroyed - but most of all my bragging impetus got destroyed - because all objects are symbolic of a certain relation to life and what we do in it and how we feel or act. The sword of Jedi - it was never just an object, was it...

After it struck me that first time, this strange scenario of bragging having bad effect on bikes continued to occur - not always but now and then it did. I don't really know what this connection is supposed to mean - and I can't really control it just because I know it's a possibility. The most obvious meaning I could think of would be this: nothing is really yours, buddy, so don't get all mixed up with objects in your possession, they can and will be taken away, and then who and what will you be without them? Nothing much indeed.

I bragged about this bike two days ago - out of the blue and nobody asked me to do it - now it's gone: the impetus of bragging went poof. An interesting feeling, let me tell you.

Another recent instance was at the end of my bike-trip: I bragged to my temporary travel companion about how my bike had such better control than his and felt all proud and happy that I could let go of the steering and fly straight at whatever speed etc - and the very next fucking day I rammed into a barrier on the bike-path and got the front-fork bent with steering nearly gone as a result. Let me tell you that the impetus of bragging about easy steering control was gone right there.

I love these coincidences. They just don't seem all that coincidental after a while.





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