Empty Days

Wednesday, May 18, 2005



Can't sleep. Or rather - I just had an extremely violent-sadistic dream where I casually ground a miniature human body in the juice blender and then looked in the mirror to see whether I had satisfaction in my eyes. Oh boy. Indeed I've been very high-strung and nervous lately :-/

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I am having some last-minute problems with getting a new passport and I still don't have a russian visa. It's true that these things can get fixed rapidly for a fee, but such fees would make a bad hole in my finances. So I am trying to avoid these easy-options and go about being stressed/rushed instead. Money can indeed buy peace of mind if not always freedom as such - and that's plenty enough already.

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I can't remember a time when I lived without computer or internet and didn't even know what they were about exactly. Yet those were my most generous and promising years: end of high-school, university, friends, sex, social life...

Things have changed drastically.





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